Gospel Shaped Sexuality – Week 4


4 – Resolving Conflict

“I slept, but my heart was awake. A sound! My beloved is knocking. “Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night…I had put off my garment; how could I put it on? I had bathed my feet; how could I soil them?” (Song of Solomon 5:2-3)

The Root Causes of Conflict:

  1. Unmet expectations
  2. Self- Centeredness

“My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me. I arose to open to my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had turned and gone. My soul failed me when he spoke. I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he gave no answer.” (Song of Solomon 5:4-6)

Three Promises to Make:

I will respond, not react.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

I will focus on the good, and not the bad.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

I’ll talk and not walk. 

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”  (Ephesians 4:26-27)

“Turn away your eyes from me, for they overwhelm me — Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.” (Song of Solomon 6:5)