Intimacy: Week 1

1 – Magnetic Attraction


Key Scripture: Song of Solomon 1:1-7

“The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.


 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine;
    your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
    therefore virgins love you.
 Draw me after you; let us run.
    The king has brought me into his chambers.


We will exult and rejoice in you;
    we will extol your love more than wine;
    rightly do they love you.


 I am very dark, but lovely,
    O daughters of Jerusalem,
like the tents of Kedar,
    like the curtains of Solomon.
 Do not gaze at me because I am dark,
    because the sun has looked upon me.
My mother’s sons were angry with me;
    they made me keeper of the vineyards,
    but my own vineyard I have not kept!
 Tell me, you whom my soul loves,
    where you pasture your flock,
    where you make it lie down at noon;
for why should I be like one who veils herself
    beside the flocks of your companions?”


1. Godly Character

“The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s. [SHE] Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you.” – Song of Solomon 1:1-3

Reputation is what others think you are.  Character is who you really are.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  – Matthew 6:33

2.  Growing Trust

“I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” – Song of Solomon 1:5-6

3.  Higher Standards

“Tell me, you whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon; for why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions?” – Song of Solomon 1:7


Do you know when you are ready for a relationship, especially marriage?

– When there are a set of standards that you have for a mate and you won’t settle for anything less.

– When you know the things that you will not do to get the other person and you are willing to be single.


Discussion Questions:

1) What qualities does our culture say attraction is built upon? What issues may be caused by using worldly qualities to form a relationship?

2) How are you working on the qualities Todd mentioned that you’d like to see in someone else in your own life?

3) Do you think it is more important to work on these qualities to attract a future spouse or so you’ll attract other people to Christ?

4) Why is knowing God’s Word so important to developing relationship standards?  How can you grow to set higher standards than you currently have?

5) You can’t change someone else, but you can change yourself.  How can you put into practice this week what you learned tonight?  Who can you share it with or invite to come next week?